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Looking For Work
A blonde who's
down on her luck is walking through a luxurious neighbourhood looking for odd
jobs to do when she approaches a large house. She goes up to the house, rings
the bell and the owner comes to the door.
He asks the lady what he can do for her. The blonde tells him of her situation,
that she is down on her luck and wants to know if he has any odd jobs that she
could do. The man thinks about it for a second and then remembers that he has
been wanting his porch painted. He asks the blonde if she paints?
The blonde says, "Sure anything."
"Well, I've been wanting my porch painted, how much would you charge?" the man
replies.
"I don't know, say $50 bucks."
"Sounds good. Go ahead and get started." He closes the door and walks back inside.
His wife asks him, "Who was at the door?" He tells her of the blonde and her situation
and then told his wife that the blonde agreed to paint the porch for $50 bucks.
The astonished wife says, "$50 bucks, but that porch goes the full length of our
house and then some. It will be at least a few hours job. You really should pay
her more."
"But that's all she said she wanted, and anyway she's a dumb blonde!"
10 minutes later, they get a knock on the door. The man answers the door and the
blone stands there and says, "All done."
With a surprised look on his face, "I can't believe it, you're already done painting
the entire porch."
"Yes, and by the way it's not a porch it's a Ferrari."
How Many Women
After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning her husband about his lurid past.

"C'mon, tell me," she asked for the thousandth time, "how many women have you slept with?"

"Baby," he protested, "if I told you, you'd throw a fit".

Kim promised she wouldn't get angry, and convinced her hubby to tell her.

"Okay," he said, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven - then there's you - nine, ten, 11, 12, 13.."